life is going in slug time. im trying so hard to be patient, and to live as if this day is my last. but i always find myself looking out into the future. always needing to feel prepared. i have to feel ready. and right now that is killing me. its really making life just purely miserable. my need to feel prepared. but the thing is, i dont know how to do the alternative. of course its society. people graduating, people getting married, people having babies. and im standing here. and thats what im doing. im standing here. i dont know how to make it better. i dont. i dont know how to be content. well. i know what to do to become content. but im stubborn. i want things done my way. and that right there. that is what makes me a sinner. gosh darn.
lord, i pray that i am humbled.
that my patience would not run out,
that you would instill in me a sense of purpose,
but also understanding that your timing is absolutely perfect
that things will happen when they happen
and that right now all i need to do is rejoice in you,
because today is a new day,
that you have given me.
♥
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