people think shes dating someone named kyle.

So i know this girl.. ohhh wait.. whats her name again.. Argumed?.. nope.. thats not it.. ohhh yea.. BRITNEEE. because thats how she rolls. she writes her name with 3 e's mhmm. she likes to die her hair, different colors every few months. and i love her for it. she is special to me. because i see her as a sister. not a friend. we have a connection that i felt the first day of meeting her. she is soo soo funny and in many ways dances to the beat of her own drum? did i say that right? I DONT CARE. she will understand. because I love her and she loves me. She is a constant in my life and i love how she cares about me, like she actually worries about me. haha. i love her so much and wouldnt change anyhting about her. ohh and by the way she showers and brushes her teeth at the same time. like.. how jealous are you right now that she can do stuff like that? oh yea/ she is a keeper. and i dont care what happens. I will always be her friend and love her because we ALWAYs work things out. and i can count on her for being there to support me. We will go to New Zealand because we were meant for it. ohh yes. we are.

i love you argumed.
kiss&hug.

[take a picture it last longer-okay-CLICK CLICK]

ky.

No one's laughing at God in a hospital.

I wish I could tell everyone how this girl is so amazing. how much i wish i could be like her. how her optimism, and her presence lights a room. She is strong, and brave. I cant put in words how angry I am, that this could happen. It hurts my heart. And I just pray for strength, because I know I am not feeling nowhere near the amount of pain her family is feeling. But I am dying inside. She gives me hope, for my life. She makes me feel like I can do anything. She makes me laugh. You wanna put a smile on for her, you want to tell her that it will go away. But that smile cant be genuine. Lord GOD. I knew it would come. God, I knew this time would come, and i still havent prepared for it. I will not give up on her lord. Its weird how I rely on the people in my life who struggle the most. I need them to show me that I can win my battles as well. But God i need her. Because what is this world, my family without her. God we will be hollow. Let her be an angel, God, let her be one for this family. Let her shine her light on us. Her struggles, God, I want them to show anyone who is afraid to just suck it up. There are bigger problems.

I love her.

my dear friend.

its going to be hard. I know it will be awkward. and to be honest im scared. im scared your not going to want us anymore. to want me. im scared you will feel left out. it wont be the same. i know that. i expect that. but i dont want it to be like what we were never happened. what we had was just a period in ourlives. because i want to be your friend. i want to be a part of your life. i need to be a part of your life. and like right now im freaking out because i know that it will not be the same. i can remember driving. starbucks. snow. fun. love. i miss you. i miss your laugh. i miss how you laugh at me. i miss your voice. i miss your hugs. i miss our memories. i miss your presence. we are always missing someone in our group. your spot is always reserved for you. i miss your smell. i miss your tuna sandwiches. i miss our talks. i feel replaced. do you know what it feels like to feel replaced. to feel not needed. to feel like they have someone better now. new friends. new people to hang out with. like. i dont know where this is coming from. but i think these feelings have been supressed for a while now. that whole time i was acting like it was ok. like everything was fine. i was trying to avoid the gap between us. but you know what i miss you. i dont know if this is weird. or awkward or seeming like im really depressed. but i miss my friend. and i feel really confused and scared about what will happen next, how things will play out. and how things will be. until then i guess i shall wait. and pray for you.

hugs&kisses.

to change the world. one person at a time.

My one motivation in life now is to bring you closer to God.

To show you his ways. His love and grace.

To show you that you are not alone, and that he can and will save.

early morning rituals get you nowhere.

Lets dance to the same music everytime. I want to dance to the same music everytime. What music you ask? Music that can change the way you feel.

For years I have been left out of everything. I never made any close friends, so i became used to the feeling of being alone. I became cautious and careful, and protected and guarded myself. I was my own friend. Someone I could count on. One day I remember walking home alone, and coming to a cross roads. Making sure there were no cars coming, I walked across, as I was walking I saw a necklace on the ground. I quickly picked it up, and continued walking. It was a friendship necklace. Something I had never had the oppurtunity of having. It was a gold heart with the word friend engraved onto it. For just a moment I thought of what it would be like to have someone who was my friend, someone who would tell me secrets, and play with me, and care about me, someone who was loyal and honest and someone who could laugh with me. I instantly thought of my mother telling me about God, and how he was a friend to her. I thought of how I wanted to be his friend too.Just then a car driving by swirved and hit me. I died that day. My body turned cold and stiff, and I wasnt human anymore. I became a spirit and floated up to Heaven. Once there I saw God. He told me that everything was going to be okay and that I had a friend now. I started to cry because for the first time I felt the power of friendship. That feeling of support and love. God has a friend in me.

May God have a friend in you. Because he is the most important friend.

those clouds are fluffy.

110 sleeps, 14 hours, 41 minutes until christmas.
:)

Im going back to Family.

Thank You Family. You are who I am. We are each other.
we
love
each
other.
Because If I didnt have you, who would I be?