Sunday, April 5, 2009
for lack of better topics.
Im so selfish. Im not thinking of you, im thinking of me. my body is undeniably suffering. the beach was fun, it could have been a blast.. but it wasnt. yea lets plan things.. things that will probably never happen. Im doing bad things, to the people I love. I hang out with my sister, sometimes she is the only one i can trust. he thinks I am hot, and thinks i should be single. I feel so alone. I miss her so much, I actually cry. this whole time, what have i done? what is the opposite of improve? because.. whatever it is.. thats what i am. I honestly suck at life, so please for the time being.. dont rely on me to help you out, or to be a good friend. because im sucking at everything right now.
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2 comments:
kylie, my love.
i can only imagine what is going on in your head right now. i can see and feel that you are falling apart. and we all screw up, we all make promisese that we cant keep, we all say things we dont mean. but you cant let this get you down. you need to turn to God and depend on him for everything, every part of your life. and you are allowed to think about yourself, you need to love yourslef and you need to be happy with who God created you to be before you can go and love other people or someone else. you need to feel good about who you are and what you are doing. you are such an amazing friend, there is so many moments that i cant imagine not having you here. and cant put yourself down like this, you need to be strong, but you need to find this strenght from God; because you are looking to do this all on your own. but you cant. please depend on me. please.
God is breaking you. He is searching your heart and revealing to you your true identity- slowly and painfully. Everytime I read your blogs I wish I could be there to support you right now- and it kills me that I cant. But please know that I support you in spirit- you are on my mind so much. This time prob out-right sucks..but you are growing in the midst of it all. I could say a million things to try and encourage you but I know that this is between you and God. Like Britnee said it is ok to take time for yourself-I dare you to question God..really question him..and watch as he gives you the answers. I love you.
Tess
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