nywklov

its hard to remember back that far. and that sucks. but i remember walking down the hallway. and i dont know if it was who you were with, or if i knew you already. but it started then. thats when it started. you made us late. we missed our bus. you were so interesting, and we were so interesting. and we all laughed and joked. and then, it became a thing. we would meet after school everyday. and hang out. and thats what we did. everyday. we would talk about everything and anything. and now that i look back. you wouldnt have stuck around if you werent interested in one of us. and i know that one of us was me. gosh. just thinking about it now. i feel so stupid. you could have been my first boyfriend. while i was dazed and confused about other guys. you were right there. and you didnt force anything. but i see it now. you were so great. and then. you said you had to move. that you were moving back to where your parents lived. and this feeling of sadness over came me. i was losing one of my best friends. and we promised we would stay in touch. and you wrote in my yearbook that you loved me so much. and that i was beautiful and how you wished i was yours. and i thought that was normal. but you wouldnt write that in anyone elses. and then you went. and i decided that i needed you in my life still. and we dated. and we said i love you. but it wouldnt work. and we both knew that. and that was back then. and with the odd mention of your name. we forgot you. because it hurt too much. so we hung out with other people. and we did different things. and now. my dear friend. you are married. probably to an amazing girl. who gets you, and makes you smile, and makes you laugh, and challenges you. who loves you. and im not saying i want that. because i was just so young. and im not necessarily saying anything would have happened. but i think today. when i found out you were married. i realized how much time had passed. and what kind of friend i became. the worst. i didnt care. and yes it was because i was hurt. but. i should have swallowed that and sucked it up. ive decided life is too short. and without telling all of you it with a cliche tone. i mean it. people get tattoos that say 'no regrets' i dont believe that even for a second. because we always always have regrets. whether they are valid or not.

so so humble.