if you are the only person that can help me get over him then please help. like a vampire drinks blood, i will drink the thoughts of moving on. i need to think of anything else. but certain things pop in my head at the worst times. things he told me and things i believed. i hate believing people. i really dont take the time to be careful, i just jump in. the water is always warm at first. but then it gets cold. and you want to forget. but you cant forget the warmth. not the whispers. not the smiles. not looking at the moon and understanding that there was an us. and for most they would have moved on like no bodys business. but me, im fragile. i break easily. and you didnt even have a chance of knowing that. that my front of being so strong. that is not all its cracked up to be. i dont want to feel this way any longer. i dont want to drown in the memories anymore. i want to fast forward to when im happy again. in time my child. i want to know happiness and smile upon it. in time my child.
ive been waiting so long. always tripping. always thinking. and here i am again. am i tripping? the biggest question. and i think i already know the answer. why would anything great happen this way. why would anything great make me think this way. that i think so highly of myself to believe that anything like this could happen. with royalty of royalty. i speak lies to myself wondering what is, and what isnt. and right now im just holding on to the hope that for once, i may be deserving.
my heart hurts, and everyone knows. but the truth of knowledge does not make anything change. unless people wish to change what is.
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