feeling so evil. wanting to use you for selfish purposes. but I have to remember that at one point in my life I loved you. I want to believe I did. And I think thats why its so easy with you. I feel like i am in black, waiting to be bad. oh for reasons im sure you know. and youre so innocent in the worst way. and im trying to keep my cool. Im trying not to cry my eyes out. because he will be the one that got away. if you can even say that. but who knows, maybe it would have ended up like a taylor swift song. all good things do. all things mixing together playing with my emotions. im so good at playing it cool. im so good at being respectful. but for only so long.
im waiting but hanging on a thread. wondering if this will ever happen, or if ive ruined it already.
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