those days.

its actually frightening to see your face.
my stomach turns remembering.
i mean, i remember the beginning.
the middle.
the end.
playing with my hair like it was gold.
surprise kisses.
talking on the phone every night.
skype dates at work.
'you're the best' 'no, your the best'.
secrets.
keeping you a secret.
yelling and screaming at me.
verbal abuse really.
i liked you so much.
because i actually liked you.
but you removed me from your life,
so i had to as well.
out of all of them.
you are the worst.
the worst.

you didnt know my name.

slap. in. the. face.
this week has been so harsh.
and i think i'll leave it at that.


lets hold hands through this one.
okay?

be still.

be smart.

be wise.

life is what you make it.

always be prepared for the worst,

but expect the best.

you got this.

:) 

the hills are long.

and it was us,
and we were standing in the kitchen,
and we had just met,
and my eyes kept on yours
and you were so great,
and you made me smile,
and my face made a face,
and without a word you knew,
and you said 'whats up?'
and its like you knew,
and you read me.
and you understood me
and that,
is probably the biggest turn on. ever.

where are you?
because i was never done.
never.

play that funky music white boy.

the silence is beautiful.
maybe thats my sign.
in this time i need to be focused on other things.
i need to make you less of a priority.
because im running around in my mind
trying to make this work.
right now
its not going to work.
now i just need to accept that.

oh bullocks.

love means forever.

If someone wants to be a part of your life they will make an effort to be in it.

So dont bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesnt make an effort to stay.

xo

these keys were made for typing

kjsakdjsafjd

but seriously, is life supposed to be like this?

i know people say life isnt fair

but guys..

i mean come on!?

for life to be completely cruel and cold hearted?

i suppose its not like i have nothing, but in comparison of what i want.

i have nothing.

why do i have this feeling that no one can understand?

dont tell me its over, and not worth my time.

if i dont fight, then whats the point.

you have the potential to be my everything.

and you're still in space, looking at the stars.

patience is a virtue.

but really.

i mean.

come on.

 ♥♥♥

eyes closed. dreams dreamt

I literally sat for 10 minutes trying to think of how I would put how I am feeling into words. before that 10 minutes I had written about 5 different copies of what I wanted to say. Needless to say, I am still at a loss for words, but I will tell you this.

This picture says it all.

one day you'll realize.

have I been on your mind

as much as you've been on mine?

♥

sailboats with white shades

how many times must i write and delete.
these words will never form fully.
im trying to grasp something thats not even really there.
what truths am i holding on to?
its like im trying to escape.
but everywhere i turn there is something or someone else.
my innner being longs to be close.
i want a close-ness
but i just need to wake up from this dream.
not yet.
not now.
soon,
but not yet.


when will the time come?