I knew this year would be big for me. Believe me i knew. But for it to be big, I had to be broken. I had to be so low, and so hurt and so done that I needed to give up. I needed that, so that I could see my world. What it had become. I know my parents arent impressed with me. I can see it on their faces. I feel so far from the relationship that I once had with them. And I hate that. I dont want to lie, and blame anyone but myself. I know I have changed. I dont want to disappoint anyone else anymore. I want to change. And I have God to thank. I was so low you guys. I was so broken. I felt like my life was a mess.. and I put a rug over it, sweeping all the bad things in my life under the rug, trying to hide what I was going through, to hide who I was becoming. I am so glad that i got the oppurtunity to see this and now I can work towards getting my life back, work on being happy. To dream again, to believe in life, and that anything is possible. lets do this. Im going to do this.
1 comment:
we need to be so unbelievably low to the ground, stepped on, trampled on. so that we see that God is the only thing that can pick us up..so we see our screw ups and see how much we need to get our act together. we go through these lows, so we can appreciate the highs. and if you are learning(which you are, cause your seeing you mistakes and how your choices affect a lot more than you know) that means you are growing as well. you are never in this alone, we learn together, we fall together, we get picked up together. "if we go down, we go down together; that's what friends do"
let God ruin you, so you can know his real, true and unfailing love.
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