Guilt is really a gut-wrenching experience. I find it eats away at my insides and makes me feel squirmish and helpless. Donavin and I had planned to hang out yesterday. And when I woke up to snow, I knew deep down it wouldnt be smart for him to come all the way to my house to hang out. Although I had these thoughts, I didnt act on them, Instead I told him I would come out to where he lives. And when he considered me coming out to his place, he wanted to come to my house instead.. something about he would rather be stuck in the snow then have me stuck in the snow. It was a long day. I met Donavin at chapters, and my parents took us to the mall, and then to superstore just to get stuff. We didnt end up coming home until 4 and then Donavin and I took a nap. We had dinner and played Mario Party and Clue with Aidan. When it was time for Donavin to go home we went early to the bus stop. The bus never came, and Donavin was willing to walk to the station in order to catch a bus. This is when guilt sank in. In the first place, Donavin didnt want to come over for this reason. He would be stuck. I called my dad, and asked if he could drive Donavin to the station, and not only did he drive him to the bus station, but he drove him to the skytrain station. Needless to say Donavin got home early and was very thankful. But I however felt very guilty. I pushed it on him, and made him feel guilty for not wanting to come. I am not usually like this, the pushy-i-get-what-i-want-type of person. Because, in a family of six, you cant have that attitude. But I needed to see him. BLAH. All is done and well, he got home safely and early too, but it still made me look at myself and ask myself why I had done that..
solongfornow.
kylieeeeee
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