so good to me so right.

from being so miserable and eating a box of chocolates to myself to wanting to stand on my tippy toes and jump around.
my week has been so interesting in terms of my emotions.
so so crazy.
no wonder men think women are crazy sometimes.
with my legs so weak, im falling behind in many ways.
and maybe this is exactly what its like.
to have it all together.
either way, ive reached a point where as much as im overwhelmed, and self concious.
of my life in general i am not ashamed.
this is my life, and some people actually care about it.


also.
i got two papercuts.. or should i say cardboardcuts.

:/ oh gosh.

I can only imagine

for only one week i felt as if my life was complete.
its not really fair to talk about it anymore, ive technically moved on.
but i have a bad case of the memories,
and yours stick out like neon glow sticks.
i get it now, i know it would have never worked out.
but for that one week i had pictured everything
and everything was perfect.
and for the longest time i wanted you to come back and say
its always been you, i made a mistake.
i wanted you to realize.
but thats not going to happen when you are apparently so happy.
and thats how i know.
i had you, for longer than i thought.
but now i dont have you at all.
and i will never ever have you even in the smallest way.
whats done is done.
and believe me its done.
but for one week.
i was on top of the world.
because for one week
it was real.

goodmorning.

As i sit and wait and start to feel my heart race
anticipating betrayal. waiting to just feel the pain
i smile. learning to trust is really hard.
but i want to so bad with you.
i will wait.

hand in hand.

because if i dont get these words down, they will get swept away along with my breath.
alot of people say it, and they dont mean it. 
ive never understood it. 
well.. i tried to understand it. 
but now i know it.
i do.

you make me a better person.