if its meant to be.

If this is it, then I am okay.
it smells like baby powder everywhere.
I am having a hard time even writing this
I dont want any documentation
I dont want any press conferences
I wish it was already time,
but I know in order to get to that time,
you have to make time.
and what we need most is faith
because thats the only way to stay strong.
all in or not.
we shouldnt waste our time otherwise.

getitgotitgood.

<3>

thats just the way it is.

holding back, and holding on
thats whats important
but having fears cloud everything
is something that is
unavoidable.
has it been, since then?
my heart still burns from the sting.
of all the hurts,
yours was the worst.
and ill never understand.
why liars exist.
why i was led where i was.
but i suppose to fall for a liar,
you have to also be one.

we're like diamonds in the sky.

waking up tired is never a good thing. Ive really been feeling that way lately. just completely done. no time for anything. It seems all I would like to do is sleep.

In other news, I am almost done this semester. Just a matter of a week and a bit. I cant wait to just not have anything on my mind. To relax and settle down.

no more assignments, papers, tests to study for.

oh sweet hallelujah.

tis the season to be merry.

almost.

blood is thick.

who i would be without this girl, i do not want to know. crazy days are better when she is near. i can count on her to make me laugh harder than normal. i like her hair. and i like her smile. she is unique, different, wonderfully extraordinary. so blessed to have her in my life. and i think she should know this.

 just saying.

keep me here.

I want to fall apart.
to let tears fall.
to come undone.
because what i felt was needed.
i needed to feel that way
whether you can provide it or not
no words.
i cant even describe it.
the weirdest thing.

what?

dreams, although so vivid can be so crushing.
try to stay with me.
is a dream something we wish, something we yearn for
or something that has happened or will happen
stay with me.
is a dream something that belongs to only us
something that holds true to what we want
or something that is produced based on thoughts,
a mangle of experiences combined together to make something clear
still with me?
does having dreams mean that what I dream is what I subconsciously want
or does it have any purpose at all
listen to me.
if having a dream is given to us so that we alter our decisions
based on people and situations
then wouldnt they then be considered a blessing,
if having dreams change our lives in little ways,
whether for good or bad
then why do we not follow them
why not?
the only explanation can be that there is fear, or doubt
and is that not what we all have in our lives
still with me?
my dear ladies and gentleman,
is it not fear and doubt that run our lives
if we do not follow our dreams
is it not?

build me up buttercup.

I really cannot express to you the amount of work I need to have completed within the next... 2 weeks.
way. way. way. too much.  And of course, as it would work out. I have a bad case of the procrastinations.

OHMYGOSH.
Kylie. what. the. heck. is. your. deal??
pull up your high socks, and lets get this done.

lets go out with a bang ;)


oh the need to have a pep talk with myself.

sad sad life.  bah.

lovers in a dangerous time.

bring to me the light you bestow,
cradle me with your heart strings,
i wish to know you more,
capture me with your embrace,
for i only have one desire
keep me close,
keep me still
i want to live a life of love.

what a powerful slam.

because rat tails are where its at.

dont pretend.
dont lie.
speak what you feel
and feel what you mean.
im thinking of you.
that you that sat in the corner
and on the chair
and in front of me.
and I thought you were moving away from her for a reason
turns out it was a reason
but not what i thought.
when shall i learn.
oh but a dream to find someone like you.

take time to realize.

With life moving so fast, its a wonder I have time to even breathe. I dont really know how to describe my life right now. Something I have learned recently is the fact that I can only trust God. Which I think is something God has been trying to prove to me for a very long time. Ive always known that He is always there. But to really believe that He is the only one I can trust. That is a big deal. Imagine that. Because we all should feel that way. trust in people can only go so deep. there will always be doubt, fear, paranoia. but with the Lord Almighty, you know He has your back.

I was asked today if I felt oppressed about my religion.
I answered yes.
I explained its not because I dont want to talk about it.
I do so badly.
I just dont want to mess things up.
I dont want to say the wrong thing and have people view christianity in a tainted light based on my thoughts and opinions.
After answering yes, and explaining why, I was told I could openly discuss it with them.
do you know how good that feels?
so amazingly good.

#praisethelamb or...lion for that matter.

#holyholyholyisHe