knock the bush out of the way.

this feeling is not new. its not old either. its not clean. its not dirty. its tainted, but only a little. i cant help but smile when i think of your face. when i think of your words. when i think of your plots to kill me. our foolish ways. this feeling is what i will hold on to. because its the closest thing to what i want right now. i dont want to go down that road again. i dont want to feel trapped. you keep me grounded. you know when to stop me. you are like the therapy i never had. and i dont even know if you know it yet. i dont think you will ever know it. you will become a major movie star, and ill be here. and ill claim to know you. but really. who is going to believe me. i like the carefree way i can still live. i can still be me. i dont need to worry about anything. you are that secret place. you can be that solace. others will want to know. why you. people will question. people will wonder. i cant describe it. i am overwhelmed with this feeling. but its always a good feeling to feel. climb that mountain. climb to the top. and then jump. jump until there is nothing there. and you will feel it. because right now. thats all i want to feel. its too silly for me to think of anything else. to be anywhere else in my life. and i dont care what i say. i know im just not ready. im not ready to be attached to the mountain yet. i just want to explore. confusing. i know. hopefully i can say this. no ones gonna love you more than i do. thank you for everything. i hope you never leave my thoughts. because you are carving a nice little whole in my brain. ill bring you tea and crumpets my dear. ill bring you tea and crumpets.

♥