waiting on a wish.

sing me a little song my dear.

but better yet

drum me a drum.

because here is now

and forever is upon us

when i feel good i sing.

guys.. i dont even know. hopes are hopes, and dreams are dreams, but in the end its not up to me. only time will be able to tell. all im saying is. i might be having a heart attack. but its like. what does a heart attack even feel like right? you dont know until its too late.

jee wizz.

who says you're not perfect?

so its not how it should be. that doesnt mean it never will be. life happens when you least expect it. im not worried so much, just impatient. the 2 year old in me wants to fight and have a tantrum. but i will keep my composure. ive got life ahead of me. and that. is the biggest blessing.

look at my cup, no cares in there.

im not going to say that it didnt cross my mind. that i didnt think of talking to you. because it did. i thought about it. but what was stopping me was what i thought my progress had been. I thought i had moved on. that you couldnt touch me. couldnt hurt me. and id like to still think that. fake it until you make it ae? but oh gosh. i feel like i was hit by a ton of bricks. i dont understand it. i dont know why i still let you get under my skin. why you make me feel this way. there is fear, but also disgust and hurt. oh so hurt. because in the end, what did i do? im not going to answer you. so you can stop trying. im moving on. and really, im just going to pretend you didnt happen.

adios loser.

Ah les lieux j'irais avec vous

the pne. the waterfalls. road trips to anywhere. horseback riding. Mexico. Disneyland. the candy store. my house. your house. church. grandmas house. ikea. castlefunpark. the zoo. science world. the aquarium. work. my work. your work. movie theater. lafarge lake. the mall. wested mall. restaurants. golf. the grouse grind. Robson street. concerts.concerts.concerts. buntzen lake. canoeing. kayaking. the mountains. the river. long walks. warm comfy movie days. crazy adventures. starbucks. mcdonalds. silver things. smiles. smiles.

taking it sloww.

life is going in slug time. im trying so hard to be patient, and to live as if this day is my last. but i always find myself looking out into the future. always needing to feel prepared. i have to feel ready. and right now that is killing me. its really making life just purely miserable. my need to feel prepared. but the thing is, i dont know how to do the alternative. of course its society. people graduating, people getting married, people having babies. and im standing here. and thats what im doing. im standing here. i dont know how to make it better. i dont. i dont know how to be content. well. i know what to do to become content. but im stubborn. i want things done my way. and that right there. that is what makes me a sinner. gosh darn.

lord, i pray that i am humbled.

that my patience would not run out, 

that you would instill in me a sense of purpose,

but also understanding that your timing is absolutely perfect

that things will happen when they happen

and that right now all i need to do is rejoice in you,

because today is a new day, 

that you have given me.

♥

live it out.

its true honey.

so true.

pretty pretty pretty

because really, what it comes down to is impatience. but then there is the true facts that support things like essays. what if i were to write an essay? i probably would be able to write an essay strictly on my feelings alone. ive gone past foolishness. id like to think my head is on straight now. and its like. i dont actually want anything. i cant have anything. but of course thats never the case. all i think about is things. that happen. with people. and then i have my doubts. and then i freak out. and then i wanna yell things. but like.. when does that ever help things right? im not quite sure. all i know is, why not put myself out there. when all i have to lose is nothing. the chances seem pretty great. i guess ill know in a couple days. its just the waiting game.  oh yes. that game everyone hates. until then im going to just play it off like im so not thinking about anything of that sort. nothing ladies and gentlemen. oh gosh.

wish me luck.

something beautiful about a boy that smiles.

bottomline.

dont

even

think

about

it.

goshdarn.

i thought about it.

happy fathers day.

i have to say, i had a very wonderful fathers day with my dad yesterday. lots of laughs.lots of presents. lots of food. lots of hiking? haha.

i love him. ohhh do i ever.
i love my daddy and my daddy loves me.

xo.

pinky freckle.

it was like, noo, its fine. its more intimate. and you reassured me that shit was going down.
but that probably wasnt the first thing that caught me. but if i didnt know then, i know now.
and the secret, is to keep it a secret. because no one likes a blab. for right now, ill keep you my dirty little secret.

mhmm, aha, mhmm.

:)

my identity is in Christ alone.

to firmly state that my identity is in Christ alone is sort of hard to say.
its not in my friends, nor in my school, nor in my work, nor in my family, nor in what i read, nor in the music i listen to, nor in the food i eat, the clothes i wear, the car i drive.

to say that my identity is in Christ alone, means that I know I am God's daughter. that my relationship with Christ is based on the trust and understanding that everything I do in life, whether to glorify Him or not, affects my relationship with Him. That God sent His only son down to be a human, and to die for all of our sins. Jesus died for me. to let that sink in, and really understand the passion and meaning of that.

Jesus went up on that cross, and said 'It is finished' no more.
He died for me. DIED.

But then, probably the coolest thing ever, He rose from the grave, because what good is a dead god?

He is a risen King.

So to say my identity is in Christ alone, yea, its hard. But God did something so amazing for me, so I am going to stand tall and not be ashamed.

He is my saviour.
you can be sure of that!

hello and goodbye.

Ive been wanting to blog the past couple of days, with things in my mind, topics to speak about.

I just havent had the time.

TIME. 

isnt it funny, how everything really depends on time.

do you have enough time? will you make it on time? are you out of time?

anyways, Timing was on my side, and to be specific, God's timing.

I got accepted into the program I had been praying for!

PRAISE THE LORD.

♥ - in a very happy mood.