my childhood was a good one

this is totally my thoughts. exactly. is it mine? nope. but im glad im not totally crazy :)

but the wind blows where it wants.

ohhhhh my;

i never want to leave this dreamland

♥

Its a good day

you live in a random house my dear sir.

If i dont get these feelings out.. well. it wont be good. I miss him. but not him. i miss the idea of having him, of touching him, of being close to him. I dont miss the fighting, me being scared, him yelling at me, making sure that i was scared, so that i wouldnt talk back to him, i wouldnt stand up for myself. i know we were wrong for each other. but, taylor swift says it best, when someone tells you they love you, your going to believe them. I have someone just as close now. not anything like that. just a friend. but i told him i loved him, sooner than i ever did with the other one. but now its a question of, do i love him as a friend, or.. did i just say it because im used to saying it? is there meaning behind the word for me anymore? This friend. I want to see big things happening in his life. I know he will be great. I can see change in him already, it makes me smile. I enjoy spending time with him. but that is not where my heart is right now. my heart is bruised, and torn, its been stepped on a few times. I need to let it heal, I need to heal. before i start anything, or risk anything. I miss my friend. she is in calgary. although we bbm, its just not the same. It wil be okay though, she is back soon. even though today is cloudy and dark, my world is bright and shiny! i am in the midst of a major ego boost. I cant go into detail, its something for me. something i need to do for myself. but im excited. :)

I just had to get those emotions out of my body. sometimes i dont want to tell people about what is really going on in my life. i would rather just talk it out and not get any feedback.
this is really good for that. :)

ky.

lets resume back to normal, whatever that might be..

Day 07 — A photo that makes you happy.

well, I would say this sums it up. that picture makes me happy. it symbolizes friendship that will last forever. I love these people and always will!

♥

spirit rain♥

you are so glorious. so real. so wonderful. thank you for everything.

did you see that cross? oh,, i did.

she knew it was a bad idea from the start, that gut feeling you get when you know something doesnt seem right. she noticed they kept giving her drinks, getting her drunk way past her limit. she started getting really dizzy not knowing which way was which. not a familiar face in sight. "Come on.. your not even drunk" they would say. they werent even her age. she didnt even know them. they werent friends. why did she feel the need to impress them? she should have said no at the party, she should have gone home. she could be in bed right now, warm, cozy. she shouldnt have come here. every one was sweating, dancing to the music that was blaring. couples touching each other, and kissing. she felt out of place. this isnt who she was. she didnt do these kind of things. all of a sudden she felt weak, too weak to stand. she sat down at a nearby couch. a group of people already sitting there, whom she didnt know as well. she couldnt focus. and then it happened she couldnt control her body. had she been ruffeed? who did this to her? what happens next? what does she do? then she sees them, the ones she came with. they come up to her. they start talking in whispers and angry tones. She cries out, trying to scream, someone should help her. someone should come. but no one does, she only manages to produce a muffled cry. she feels them grab her, and move her past people in the crowd. she is being brought outside. she starts crying. where are they taking her? home she hopes. they move her along the sidewalk and down an alleyway. she hears them talking about not being responsible for this, for being charged for what they have done. she cries more, them holding her up. she has no way of running away and cant help herself. thats when she feels them hoist her up into a garbage bin, she looks into their eyes, tears blurring her vision. how could they do this? she waits for their decision. she waits, and cries. and thats when she thinks of it. prayer. 'Dear God, i need your help, God please help me' and thats when she heard the sirens. those who were holding her up let go, and ran. she felt herself falling, not knowing where she would land and what she would land in. a minute later she saw flashlight beams and tried to cry out and make noise. the police came running over and took hold of her arms, pulling her out of the smelly bin. they took her to their car and gave her a blanket to put over herself, but they realized once she didnt reach for the blanket what was wrong. they took her to the hospital and helped her recover.

She will remember that memory until she dies, but the one thing that she holds dear and close to her heart is the truth and the love and the miraculous mercy God showed her that night. God saved her life. and for that she will forever praise the king of kings.

amen.